My Affair with Country Music

Music was not a big part of my early childhood. I can't tell you what my parents' favorite songs or bands were (except that my mom loved Paul not John) and the only time they listened to the radio was on Saturday mornings so they could catch the Trading Post.

But I do remember that someone had given them a tape player. You know, an 8 track tape player. Do you remember those? Whoever gave it to them also gave them three tapes: Dolly Parton, Kenny Rodgers, and Queen. I remember my brother and I playing them over and over and over again. I could probably still sing along to any of the songs on those tapes. Dolly Parton had a really sad song about a girl dying and Kenny Rodgers had two songs that really stood out. One 'Don't take your love to town' was about an injured soldier coming home to his cheating wife and the other was Ruben James about a colored man that was discriminated against.

Those were my first memories of country music. A few years after high school, just before I was moving to D.C. my best friend and I started hanging around with some older redneck type guys and their families and all they listened to was country music. The night before my last day at work we partied all night over in New York and 'There's a Tear in My Beer' by Hank Williams kept playing on the juke box. I think of that night every time I hear that song or his name.

I never really listened to it again until 1991 or so when Garth Brooks was getting hot. A trip to South Dakota made me a country music fan and that was all I ever played on the radio (unlike my parents, I always have radios playing). Garth Brooks was my favorite. His 'Friends in Low Places' song played continuously. Here are some of the lyrics to it:

'Cause I've got friends in low places
Where the whiskey drowns
And the beer chases my blues away
And I'll be okay
I'm not big on social graces
Think I'll slip on down to the oasis
Oh, I've got friends in low places

I guess I was wrong
I just don't belong
But then, I've been there before
And everything is alright
I'll just say goodnight
And I'll show myself to the door
I didn't mean to cause a big scene
Just wait 'til I finish this glass
Then sweet little lady
I'll head back to the bar
And you can kiss my ass

Whenever I hear that song I think back to two specific instances in my life: 1. my brother, mother and I dancing arm and arm together and belting out the words at my wedding; and 2. my friend Bob playing one part over and over again so we could hear the sound of a beer can opening between one of the verses (he was right, but he would know).

I like country music because you can always understand what the words are that are being sung and you can always relate to the story somehow. When I was pregnant for Molly, my first child, tears would stream down my face every time I heard Tim McGraw's 'Don't Take the Girl'. This verse would put me over the edge

Same old boy
Same sweet girl
Five years down the road
There's gonna be a little one and she
says it's time to go.
Doctor says the baby's fine
but you'll have to leave
'Cause his momma's fading fast and
Johnny hit his knees and there he prayed
"Take the very breath you gave me.
Take the heart from my chest.
I'll gladly take her place if you'll let me,
make this my last request.
Take me out of this world
God, please don't take the girl"

Once, my sister, my co-worker/friend and I were driving into D.C. to go to work and this song came on. All three of us went silent and at the end of the song we burst into laughter when we looked at each other because all three of us were crying. Crying!

That is why I go through stages of when I can listen to country music and when I can't. If I have something sad going on in my life, I stay away from WGNA and all things country. It's just too hard to heal if you are surrounded by so much sadness. After my brother's death, it took me about 6 years before I could listen to it again. And then there were a whole new batch of artists and songs. Really funny songs like this one:

And I’m feedin’ the dog, sackin’ the trash

Its’ honey do this, honey do that

I sobered up and I got to thinkin’

Girl, you ain’t much fun since I quit drinkin’

And this one:

Well you know those times when you feel like
There's a sign there on your back
That says I don't mind if you kick me, seems like everybody has
Things go from bad to worse
You think it can't get worse than that
And then they do

And songs that bring me back to high school weekends:

Every Friday night there's a steady cloud of dust
That leads back to a field filled with pickup trucks
Got old Hank cranking way up loud
Got coolers in the back
Tailgates down
There's a big fire burnin' but don't be alarmed
It's just country boys and girls gettin' down on the farm

And:

Well we grew up down by the railroad tracks
Shootin' b.b.'s at old beer cans
Chokin' on the smoke from a lucky strike
Somebody lifted off of his old man
We were football flunkies
Southern rock junkies
Crankin' up the stereo
Singin' loud and proud to gimme three steps
Simple Man, and Curtis Lowe
We were good you know

And songs that make you love more than you ever thought you could. Love for your country:

Now this nation that I love
Has fallen under attack
A mighty sucker punch came flying in
From somewhere in the back
Soon as we could see clearly
Through our big black eye
Man, we lit up your world
Like the 4th of July

Hey Uncle Sam
Put your name at the top of his list
And the Statue of Liberty
Started shaking her fist
And the eagle will fly
And there's gonna be hell
When you hear Mother Freedom
Start ringing her bell
And itll feel like the whole wide world is raining down on you
Ahhh Brought to you Courtesy of the Red White and Blue

Love for your favorite hangout:

We got winners, we got losers
Chain smokers and boozers
And we got yuppies, we got bikers
We got thirsty hitchhikers
And the girls next door dress up like movie stars

Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar

Love for the things in your life:

Just the other night at a hometown football game
My wife and I ran into my old high school flame
And as I introduced them the past came back to me
And I couldn't help but think of the way things used to be

She was the one that I'd wanted for all times
And each night I'd spend prayin' that God would make her mine
And if he'd only grant me this wish I wished back then
I'd never ask for anything again

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

She wasn't quite the angel that I remembered in my dreams
And I could tell that time had changed me
In her eyes too it seemed
We tried to talk about the old days
There wasn't much we could recall
I guess the Lord knows what he's doin' after all

And as she walked away and I looked at my wife
And then and there I thanked the good Lord
For the gifts in my life

And the love for the one that amazes you or the one that you amaze:

Every Time Our Eyes Meet,
There Is A Feelin Inside Me
It’s Almost More Than I Can Take
Baby When You Touch Me
I Can Feel How Much You Love Me
And It Just Blows Me Away
I’ve Never Been This Close To Anyone
Or Anything
I Can Hear your Thoughts, I Can See Your Dreams

I Dunno How You Do What You Do
I’m So In Love With You
It Just Keeps Getting Better
I Wanna Spend The Rest Of My life
With You By My Side
For Ever and Ever
Every Little Thing That You Do
Baby I’m Amazed By You

And then there are the songs that seem to be written, some say, with you in mind (me feigning innocence here):

She said I'm going out with my girlfriends
Margaritas at the Holiday Inn
Oh have mercy my only thought
Was tequila makes her clothes fall off
I told her put an extra layer on
I know what happens when she drinks Patron
Her closets missing half the things she bought
Yeah tequila makes her clothes fall off

She'll start by kicking out of her shoes
Lose an earring in her drink
Leave her jacket in the bathroom stall
Drop a contact down the sink
Them panty hose ain't gonna last too long
If the DJ puts Bon Jovi on
She might come home in a tablecloth
Yeah tequila makes her clothes fall off

She can handle any champagne brunch
A bridal shower with Bacardi punch
Jello shooters full of Smirnoff
But tequila makes her clothes fall off

After Rylee's dad and I broke up last year, I once again stopped listening to country music. That was right about the time that the kids started liking their own genre of music and so I came to know and like the popular music of today. Rihanna, Nickelback, Pink, etc. It's fun and light and easy to move along to. Every once in while, when the kids weren't hogging the radio station, or when the station wasn't coming in clearly, I would hit # 4 on my radio to see what was playing on WGNA. It was always something like this:

He said: "Just think it over, and write me a list,
"So we can figure out what we both deserve."
She hardly could believe it, that their love had come to this:
Dividing an' deciding his and hers.
But she grabbed a paper napkin, an' asked the waitress for a pen.
An' one by one, she wrote down what she wanted most from him.

She reached across the table an' placed it in his hand,
An' said: "You know this isn't easy for me."
As he thought about the new car, the house an' the land,
An' wondered what that bottom line would be.
An' a thousand other things that she'd want him to leave behind,
But he never dreamed he'd open up that napkin and find

"Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust.
"A little less time for the rest of the world,
"And more for the two of us.
"Kisses each mornin', 'I love you's' at night,
"Just like it used to be.
"The way life was when you were in love with me."

That quickly had me switching back. I just wasn't ready yet.

Yet.

But I discovered something recently.

I discovered that I am ready now. Not just a little ready, but really ready. Ready to listen to country music again.

And this is the song that brought me back:

The declaration of independence
Think I can tell you that first sentence
But then I'm lost
I can't begin to count the theories
I had pounded in my head that I forgot
I don't remember all that spanish
Or the gettysburg address
But there is one speech from high school
I'll never forgot

Come on in boy, sit on down
And tell me 'bout yourself
So you like my daughter, do you now
Yeah we think she's something else
She's her daddy's girl and her mama's world
She deserves respect, that's what she'll get, ain't it son
Now y'all run along and have some fun
I'll see you when you get back
Bet I'll be up all night
Still cleaning this gun

Well now that I'm a father
I'm scared to death one day my daughter's gonna find
That teenage boy I used to be
Who seems to have just one thing on his mind
She's growing up so fast it won't be long
'fore I'll have to put the fear of god
Into some kid at the door

It just cracked me up. I love it.

The problem is, now there may be some fighting over the radio. But I can handle that too!