Posts
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Yes I Did!
Ever have a conversation with someone that changes your life? Maybe it is a quiet hello with a fellow reject that blossoms into a lifetime friendship. Maybe it is a flirtatious teasing with a boy that later becomes your husband. Maybe it is an "I'm sorry" that leads to a long and overdue road to forgiveness. Whatever the reason behind the conversation, I am sure we have all had one that has made an impact on our lives, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse; but always with a memory that stands out.
The past few days, I have been recalling a conversation I had with a woman who I am certain would have no idea who I am if I were to bump into her on the street today. A conversation that snowballed into a long, hard road of achievement for me.
In the summer of 2001, I was in the process of losing my job. A job that I enjoyed. A job that paid me really well. But most importantly, a job that allowed me the opportunity to send my children off to school in the morning and then welcome them home when they walked through the front door at 3:00 in the afternoon. A job that I was definitely sorry to be losing soon.
Knowing that the loss would be soon, but not knowing how soon, I was kind of lax in applying to every position posted in the newspaper. You see, I was being a little particular. I wanted the same things I was losing: enjoyment of the position and full time pay for full time work packed into part time hours. As expected, I was not having too much luck.
The last week of summer, I went to an outdoor wedding in New York and I struck up a conversation with a woman who was a classmate of the bride. It turns out she lived in the same town as I and was just starting her teaching career at the high school that I graduated from. She was enthusiastic and excited and it reminded me that teaching was always something I had thought about pursuing but never had the opportunity to dive into the required schooling. I mean how does the mortgage get paid if I am not working? The rest of the weekend I ran that question over and over in my head. On Monday morning, I went to the local college in search of an answer. As it turned out, I received an answer AND since I was already there, enrolled as a full time student for the upcoming semester; which started the next day. Nothing like jumping in full speed ahead.
The classes that my adviser and I chose were pretty specific. I had a broad range of interests - from computer programming to teaching - and I was on a semester by semester basis. Another words, I had no way of knowing how long I would be able to maintain full time student status so I tried to choose classes that may not be offered in the evenings. Computer programming, Intro to Psychology, Child Development, and Foundations of Education. My goal was simple: To do the best I can do in the time that I have. I mean really: full time school, full time mom, and working 25 - 30 hours per week until who knows when. My goal HAD to be simple.
Little did I know how often I would recite those words to myself over the course of that semester. To do the best I can do in the time that I have. As it turned out, the best I could do in the time that I had was a 4.0 at the end of the semester, along with a large thirst for more. More knowledge, more stress, and definitely more teaching and psychology classes. The two areas, according to my professors, that I had a natural intellect for.
And so it continued. Through the loss of my job, the loss of unemployment, the loss of my pride when I was forced to apply for food stamps and fuel assistance, the loss of a child that I had only begun to accept was growing in my belly, through the strength of my family and friends, through many seasons of travel hockey, travel soccer, gymnastics, lacrosse, etc, through the acceptance of another awesome job, through the pregnancy and delivery of another child, through sickness and many surgeries, through the loss of yet another great job, the loss of two very important people in my life, through the strong bonds of my friends, through the love of my children, but most importantly, through the tenacity to get through anything...it continued....right up until this past Saturday. When I graduated, Magna Cum Laude, from MCLA with a bachelors degree in Psychology.
The past few days, I have been recalling a conversation I had with a woman who I am certain would have no idea who I am if I were to bump into her on the street today. A conversation that snowballed into a long, hard road of achievement for me.
In the summer of 2001, I was in the process of losing my job. A job that I enjoyed. A job that paid me really well. But most importantly, a job that allowed me the opportunity to send my children off to school in the morning and then welcome them home when they walked through the front door at 3:00 in the afternoon. A job that I was definitely sorry to be losing soon.
Knowing that the loss would be soon, but not knowing how soon, I was kind of lax in applying to every position posted in the newspaper. You see, I was being a little particular. I wanted the same things I was losing: enjoyment of the position and full time pay for full time work packed into part time hours. As expected, I was not having too much luck.
The last week of summer, I went to an outdoor wedding in New York and I struck up a conversation with a woman who was a classmate of the bride. It turns out she lived in the same town as I and was just starting her teaching career at the high school that I graduated from. She was enthusiastic and excited and it reminded me that teaching was always something I had thought about pursuing but never had the opportunity to dive into the required schooling. I mean how does the mortgage get paid if I am not working? The rest of the weekend I ran that question over and over in my head. On Monday morning, I went to the local college in search of an answer. As it turned out, I received an answer AND since I was already there, enrolled as a full time student for the upcoming semester; which started the next day. Nothing like jumping in full speed ahead.
The classes that my adviser and I chose were pretty specific. I had a broad range of interests - from computer programming to teaching - and I was on a semester by semester basis. Another words, I had no way of knowing how long I would be able to maintain full time student status so I tried to choose classes that may not be offered in the evenings. Computer programming, Intro to Psychology, Child Development, and Foundations of Education. My goal was simple: To do the best I can do in the time that I have. I mean really: full time school, full time mom, and working 25 - 30 hours per week until who knows when. My goal HAD to be simple.
Little did I know how often I would recite those words to myself over the course of that semester. To do the best I can do in the time that I have. As it turned out, the best I could do in the time that I had was a 4.0 at the end of the semester, along with a large thirst for more. More knowledge, more stress, and definitely more teaching and psychology classes. The two areas, according to my professors, that I had a natural intellect for.
And so it continued. Through the loss of my job, the loss of unemployment, the loss of my pride when I was forced to apply for food stamps and fuel assistance, the loss of a child that I had only begun to accept was growing in my belly, through the strength of my family and friends, through many seasons of travel hockey, travel soccer, gymnastics, lacrosse, etc, through the acceptance of another awesome job, through the pregnancy and delivery of another child, through sickness and many surgeries, through the loss of yet another great job, the loss of two very important people in my life, through the strong bonds of my friends, through the love of my children, but most importantly, through the tenacity to get through anything...it continued....right up until this past Saturday. When I graduated, Magna Cum Laude, from MCLA with a bachelors degree in Psychology.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
In the Blink of an Eye
Saturday morning I sat at my dining room table and looked out the bay window and for what seems like the first time, I noticed the lilac bushes to the left of my yard. As much as I love the beauty of nature, I have never found the inclination to prune or garden or educate myself in anything having to do with gardening. In fact, if it were not for the fact that I feel every sinus cavity instantly fill up when I am around bloomed lilacs, I probably wouldn't even know the name of the pretty flowers that bloom from those bushes every spring.
But this spring feels different to me. Or maybe I feel differently this spring. This spring, I have a an urge to do things to the yard. Things that are foreign to me. Like follow through with Molly's desire to have a garden. Like cut away at the dead branches from the three towering pine trees that separate my yard from the neighbor's straight behind me. Like tame the wild overgrown lilac bushes before they start to bud.
"Before they start to bud". That was what shocked me when I looked out the same bay window on Sunday morning. There were buds on the lilac bushes. Just. Like. That. Saturday morning, no buds. Sunday morning, buds.
Monday morning was a whole new experience. As I drove through town I felt a quiet excitement growing inside my belly. Everywhere I turned I saw buds and leaves and blooming trees. And then I remember how much I love this short span of time every spring. It is so magical and I want to share.
Looking up the street where we live
But this spring feels different to me. Or maybe I feel differently this spring. This spring, I have a an urge to do things to the yard. Things that are foreign to me. Like follow through with Molly's desire to have a garden. Like cut away at the dead branches from the three towering pine trees that separate my yard from the neighbor's straight behind me. Like tame the wild overgrown lilac bushes before they start to bud.
"Before they start to bud". That was what shocked me when I looked out the same bay window on Sunday morning. There were buds on the lilac bushes. Just. Like. That. Saturday morning, no buds. Sunday morning, buds.
Monday morning was a whole new experience. As I drove through town I felt a quiet excitement growing inside my belly. Everywhere I turned I saw buds and leaves and blooming trees. And then I remember how much I love this short span of time every spring. It is so magical and I want to share.
Main Street with blooming trees
Looking up the street where we live
A beautiful and very historical cemetery
And there you have it. Spring has sprung...in the blink of an eye.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Try As I May; Try As I Might...
...I just can't stop thinking about the desserts in my sight.
In the spirit of my wish to become a healthy person this year, I try to keep at least one piece of fruit on my desk at all times. That way, if I am hungry when I get into work, or need a sweet snack in the afternoon, I always have a healthy option right at my fingertips.
This morning, after not eating breakfast, I came into work and had the option of an apple, an orange, or a banana. Within a half hour, before I had a chance to choose a healthy option, I had three rugelachs (nuts, raisins, cherries rolled into a pastry with cream cheese - YUM), a slice of banana bread with chocolate chips, a loaf of homemade grinder bread, and a dish full of harvati cheese sitting on the counter RIGHT in front of me. Like at EYE LEVEL.
So for breakfast, I ate one rugelach, half a slice of banana bread (it had me at chocolate), and some harvati cheese on a hunk of the grinder roll.
Sometimes it is absolute hell to work in dining services. This was Recipes from Home Day so the chefs were pleased to pass along samples of the selected recipes. No arguments here.
As for the apple, orange, and banana....well, there's always tomorrow.
In the spirit of my wish to become a healthy person this year, I try to keep at least one piece of fruit on my desk at all times. That way, if I am hungry when I get into work, or need a sweet snack in the afternoon, I always have a healthy option right at my fingertips.
This morning, after not eating breakfast, I came into work and had the option of an apple, an orange, or a banana. Within a half hour, before I had a chance to choose a healthy option, I had three rugelachs (nuts, raisins, cherries rolled into a pastry with cream cheese - YUM), a slice of banana bread with chocolate chips, a loaf of homemade grinder bread, and a dish full of harvati cheese sitting on the counter RIGHT in front of me. Like at EYE LEVEL.
So for breakfast, I ate one rugelach, half a slice of banana bread (it had me at chocolate), and some harvati cheese on a hunk of the grinder roll.
Sometimes it is absolute hell to work in dining services. This was Recipes from Home Day so the chefs were pleased to pass along samples of the selected recipes. No arguments here.
As for the apple, orange, and banana....well, there's always tomorrow.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Wordless Wednesday: Cute Drawings
Rylee: Here's a picture I drew of me and my boyfriend today
Rylee: Here's a picture of me and my boyfriend, again.
Rylee: And here's a picture....pause...of I don't know
Rylee: Here's a picture of me and my boyfriend, again.
Rylee: And here's a picture....pause...of I don't know
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Wordless Wednesday: She's a Good Mommy
I glanced through the pictures on my phone while waiting for Molly to get out of drama practice yesterday and found these pictures that Rylee must have taken of her babies.
She's A Ticket
For the most part, Rylee has been doing a great job of sleeping in her own bed at night. There have been a few times when she was way overtired and wanted to sleep with me that I let her and there have been a couple of nights where she woke up scared and Molly carried her into me (Molly's just awesome). Well, one morning last week, I awoke with Rylee in my bed again, for the 4th night in a row. Knowing full well that this will continue if I don't do something soon, I casually mentioned to her that from now on she needs to stay in her own bed at night. To which she replied "I was just saying that to myself".
*****************************
The last two weeks I was on vacation from work but I still sent Rylee, my 4 year old, to school, most days, so I could get some things done around the house and workout without feeling rushed (it was glorious). On Friday, the last day of my vacation, Molly, my 14 year old, was staying home because she was still in a great deal of pain from getting braces plus she was getting a sore throat and felt a little feverish. I tried not to let Ry know that Molly would be home all day but somehow she just knew, and she was not happy about it.
The two of us were sitting at the counter, eating breakfast, when she says to me "I can't go to school today because I'm sick". Knowing she's fine, I impatiently look at her and ask "Oh yeah, what's wrong with you?". Without missing a beat she replies "I think I'm going to start".
*****************************
Sometimes not laughing is the hardest part of parenting.
*****************************
The last two weeks I was on vacation from work but I still sent Rylee, my 4 year old, to school, most days, so I could get some things done around the house and workout without feeling rushed (it was glorious). On Friday, the last day of my vacation, Molly, my 14 year old, was staying home because she was still in a great deal of pain from getting braces plus she was getting a sore throat and felt a little feverish. I tried not to let Ry know that Molly would be home all day but somehow she just knew, and she was not happy about it.
The two of us were sitting at the counter, eating breakfast, when she says to me "I can't go to school today because I'm sick". Knowing she's fine, I impatiently look at her and ask "Oh yeah, what's wrong with you?". Without missing a beat she replies "I think I'm going to start".
*****************************
Sometimes not laughing is the hardest part of parenting.
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