So these feelings of missing something, of not belonging, of questioning my life, are completely new to me. Especially when everything in my life seems to be on the right track. The kids re doing well (in fact, they are just awesome and I am so lucky to have such great kids), I am working towards my masters, work is alright, the house and yard are in order, and we finally have sleeping arrangements that work for all of us. So what is up with these feelings of insecurity?
I have made so many changes in the last few years that are good, but along the way I feel as though I lost who I am. Not in a bad way, just in a different way. I figure I am growing and morphing into someone new that I don't really know yet and it will just take some time to realize who the new me is. But maybe that is wrong. Maybe I am just not taking the time to do the things that make me who I am, or have always been.
Cody and I took a ride with a good friend to her house in Heath on Friday night. I was in the passenger seat so I was able to look around and observe the area. An area that I forgot how much I love. As we drove along Route 2, winding our way back and forth along the Deerfield River, I could look up and see the spectacular contrast of the river running deep in the valley of mountains. It brought me back in time and that felt good.
Then on Sunday the kids and I and some friends headed back up to the Deerfield to go tubing. It was an awesome afternoon, and weekend, and a sweet reminder that I need to take time for the things that I enjoy....which will get me back to where I need to be.
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